Bubbles

Anyone care to guess what my favourite tipple is at the moment?

No place else to go

New Words for 2007

* TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.
* PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
* GOING FOR A McSHIT. Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog.(Loo) If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a McShit with Lies.
* MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.
* MYSTERY BUS. The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the Toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
* MYSTERY TAXI. The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.
* BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise At 3:00am.
* BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.
* PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's Got 4 buttocks

Common as muck

We've always had these little chaps in the garden and I was always lead to believe they were sand lizards, but now I'm not so sure as they could be common lizards. Anyway I found this one in the shed at the bottom of the garden.

Bridlington

A day out at the seaside.

Weird and wonderful

Just my opinion, but the sheep is a bit weird, the bull is a wonderful specimin and the men, well they're either from Butlins or a bunch of hunts (men)

Apologies for the lack of posts this week, it's been somewhat busy. On Wednesday we all went to the Great Yorkshire Show and yesterday afternoon it was Katies first sports day. Hopefully I will post a few photos over the weekend.

Penguins at Sewerby

A short video from our day out yesterday. Watch out for wifey getting what she deserved.

Ticket Touts

4.30pm on a Sunday afternoon and the city's traffic wardens are merilly dishing out tickets in the 'Avenues', where it happens to be 'Open Gardens', but they weren't aware of that were they? and it's not about making money, it's about traffic safety, isn't it?

View from Queen's Gardens

I took this picture on my way to work this morning, It shows the fountains in Queen's Gardens, William Wilberforce's statue and in the background, Hull College.

Sloth

There seems to be a general slothness in blogland at the moment, and I'm no exception. I guess other things have been taking priority (like the floods). It looks like the flooding has wiped out our potato crop, but the gooseberry bush yielded 2 pounds of goosegogs and has now become 3 jars of jam courtesy of wifey.

Macro

For those of you who are interested the new camera is an Olympus SP-510. This is an example of it's macro mode. Anybody care to hazard a guess what this will be when it grows up?

Jack Penate - Torn From The Platform

Nice song, bit of a nick from the Housemartins though.

Finish the sentence meme

Maybe I should…… Drink less
I love…... Wifey, the kids, my mum.
People would say that I’m…...Arrogant & aloof
I don’t understand….. French people
When I wake up in the morning….. I’m usually up and at ‘em
I lost….... Some brain cells today
Life is full of…........Things that happen
My past is…... In the past
I get annoyed when…....Cats shit in my garden
Parties are….. Hiding in a corner and drinking lots
I wish…... For good health for me and mine
Dogs …...... Go woof
Cats…. Shit on my garden
Tomorrow….. Is the day I do most jobs (ask Wifey)
I have a low tolerance…....Of most people
If I had a million dollars….. I’d change it into Sterling

The above meme was originally found at Catch's blog (see sidebar)

My first time

It's the new camera! Top picture is the garden early this afternoon after it had dried out a bit. The second picture is taken from the same place but with 12 x zoom, now that I like.

Not just 'Ull

Don sent me this, taken today in York.

More Rain

These are 2 pictures I borrowed from the local rag, both are less than a quarter of a mile from our house. Our garden was flooded as you've already seen, but our house was ok, for that we are very grateful!. It has now stopped raining, time to start clearing up.

Wet, Wet, Wet

We had a bit of rain today!

Yahaay!

I have finally managed to wear wifey down and she has agreed to let me have a new camera. Yesterday I went to Jessops to purchase the camera, which they had on special offer. Unfortunately they didn't have any in stock, lots of posters on the wall advertising the offer, but no actual camera. So I asked if they could ring their other store to see if they had one in stock. Yes they did hooray! but it's £20 more boo! I ask why it is £20 more, "because it's silver" comes the reply, I refrain from asking how much a pink one would be, and decline their offer to save me one. When I returned home I rang the Beverley store (8 miles away) to be told they didn't have any either, but the man very helpfully informed me that they had 7 in stock at their York store (35 miles away). I eventually ordered it on line, so like me you will all have to wait a while for new improved photos to appear on this blog. Oh, and if you ever need anything related to photography, don't go to Jessops!. Mind you Currys were no better but that's another story.

I is what I is

Or as Dame Shirley would put it "I am what I am". I've just had the pleasure of watching Dame Shirley performing at this year's Glastonbury, absolutely fantastic.

Why do you call it Tiny?

Because it's my newt, ha ha. Spotted 3 newts in our pond, 2 males and 1 female. The female was in the process of laying eggs, carefully wrapping them up in the pond weed. I will keep an eye out for the pitter patter of little webbed feet.

Handy Hints

Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand next to the object you wish to view.
Always poo at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid for it.
Weight watchers. Avoid that devilish temptation to nibble at a chocolate bar in the cupboard or fridge by not buying the f**king thing in the first place.
Recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your home by filling the bath with cold water, adding two bottles of bleach, then urinating into it, before jumping in.
Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.
An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator. Vegetarians coming to dinner? Simply serve them a nice bit of steak or veal. Since they're always going on about how tofu, Quorn, meat substitute etc 'tastes exactly like the real thing', they won't know the difference.
Invited by vegetarians for dinner? Point out that since you'd no doubt be made aware of their special dietary requirements, tell them about yours, and ask for a nice steak.
A mouse trap placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.
Avoid bickering and petty arguments by immediately punching anyone with whom you disagree.

Final Day

Our last day was spent at Clapham a beautiful village with it's stream and traditional English church.

Hardraw Force

As promised

Day 5

This morning whilst driving along we came across the village of Malham, were we met these 2 characters (and a whole host more!)

Day 4 part 3

After the caves we went to Hardraw Force, a waterfall that you get to through a pub. Just as we got back to the pub after seeing the waterfall it started to rain quite heavily, so we had to stop at the pub. I wasn't complaining. (will post a video of this waterfall at a later date)

day 4 part 2

After our early morning walk we went caving, Harry wasn't sure about the headgear, but some of the caves were very spectacular.

Day 4

A nice easy start to the day with a walk along the river, just near the cottage.

day 3

Today we spent most of the day at Leighton Moss (top picture) an RSPB reserve. Whilst there we saw a Spoonbill and a Marsh Harrier as well as some deer. After that we went to an old slate quarry to see a Peregrine Falcon nest. Sadly I did not take the picture above (my camera just aint good enough, take note wifey), but we got some great views of the birds and their 2 chicks through our scope.

Day 2 part 2

After Hawes we went to see the "Buttertubs" (top picture), then on to lunch at the highest pub in Britain the "Tarn Hill" complete with tame lambs ( I checked the menu, they weren't on it!). Finally ending the day at Aysgarth Falls.

Day 2

This morning we visited Hawes (another intriguing name!). I can recommend a visit to the Wensleydale cheese factory, especially the shop where you get to try all the different cheeses.

Bank Holiday weather

This is Storey Reservoir which we visited on our first day, which was a bank holiday. Fortunately we were in a bird hide when I took this as it was chucking it down.

Been Away

So, yes, we've been away to the Yorkshire Dales. We stayed in a cottage in a lovely village called Giggleswick (is that a great name or what?) The pictures, in order are, at the top, Malham Tarn, in the middle, meeting some of the locals and finally, at the bottom, Katie and Harry try to work out how long it will take dad to get from the cottage to the pub (yes that really is our cottage)

Waves video

Find the waves video at You Tube. Search for "Waves at Hornsea 2". Coming soon, waterfalls on video, bet you can't wait! Actually, we're going away for a few days and internet access won't be available, so no posts until next Saturday/Sunday. See you then.

Waves......again

You know me and waves. Can I interest anyone in the movie version of this? or would that really be overkill? Oh, and Gawpo, if you look real careful, this time you might see some Jasper.

Garden....again

You've already seen the vegetable end of our garden, this is the prettier end, near the house where we sit.

Allotment to be happening

The bottom of our garden is dedicated to growing vegetables and fruit. This little patch has Broad Beans, peas, cabbages and courgettes. Everything in the garden is looking good at the moment, despite the best efforts of next doors cats and squirells!

Camera Obscura - LLoyd, I´m ready to be heartbroken

I haven't posted any music for a while, so here goes. Dodgy video, great tune.

Blue eyes, Brown eyes

I attended a seminar today called The 'Anatomy of Prejudice'. the speaker was a lady called Jane Elliott who developed the blue eyes, brown eyes exercise in discrimination. I found it equally inspiring and depressing. Still it's nice to think that in Hull we are at least trying to do something, it's a start.

It's all true

NICKNAMES: If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

MONEY: A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs. A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

OFFSPRING: Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Waves at Hornsea

let this wash over you for 30 seconds.

Sanctimonious gits

I made a complaint to the BBC today, I felt strongly about something, and decided I couldn't let it go. I feel better now I have complained, I am still angry, but I feel better. I think I should complain more, I think I should become a thorn in the side of corporations and bureaucracy, yeah I feel good.

Castles in the sky

An aerial view of fortress Bazza.

Bank Holiday Monday

It's a bank holiday, so it has to be the seaside. We chose Hornsea.

Bobbins

Hull FC lost and Paul Cooke didn't get laid out once. Hull City lost their last game of the season. We've had the in laws down all weekend. I suppose there's still tomorrow to go.

A bit of fun

Saw this on Dr. John's blog and thought I would try it. You have eight things to put behind your name like “needs”, “is”, “ wants”. You take your name and one of the them like “ John is” and Google it. Put the results here.

1. Bazza "needs" Hi energy tea (surely this should have said Jack Daniels)
2. Bazza "is" what Bazza is (of course)
3. Bazza "likes" to sky dive (only off the top of the wardrobe!)
4. Bazza "wants" a non milking cow (always wanted one of those)
5. Bazza "gets" turned away at the door for being too drunk (hmmm!)
6. Bazza "says" just keep taking the tablets dear (usually after 5.)
7. Bazza "does" a crunk version of copacabana (very passable to)
8. Bazza "eats" up the worms (I would have to slip off the vegetarian wagon)

I have to be honest and say I didn't always pick the top entry, but all were on the first page, and number 2 was the top answer, which I'm quite proud of.

Bridge

An alternative view of the Humber Bridge.

Shaun the sheep

The whole family is addicted to this, see what you think.

This lamb had been born about 1 hour when I took this picture at Far Ings nature reserve. No jokes about the black sheep of the family please!